I am who I am because of the woman I am, and the women that surround me [IWD2021]

Sometimes I feel helpless when I consider the amount of injustice in our world. It can feel like I am trapped in a bunker with a wooden trap door above, the door is just out of reach and even if I could reach it, the other side has a tonne of weight holding it down. I know deep down that even if I could reach it there is not a thing that I could do (on my own) to move the trap door and free myself. But if there were a hundred women (and/or men) or even just ten, standing by my side we possibly could force our way out.

As I write this I recognise a feeling of guilt. It is the acknowledgement of privilege. That feeling is nothing compared to those that suffer. Particularly in situations that I am most passionate about; where confines are placed on people (on girls and on women) that limit them from being the best version of themselves.

The feeling of guilt is nothing compared to the acknowledgement that we really can #choosetochallenge in our every day world.

I once asked a leader of an organisation that helps homeless people…’how do you choose to give?’ I continued with ‘When you see those in your own families and friendship circles that need help, yet there are others that also need help. How do you decide who you help?’ The respected leader looked my way to answer my question, our eyes locked and he said ‘help starts at home’. So, today that is what I am going to make a commitment to do, I also hope that I can encourage others to do the same.

On International Women’s day in 2021, I acknowledge and am so incredibly grateful for the powerful, strong, brave, vulnerable women I have in my corner. Women that navigate this thing called life alongside me. Some have been my trusted friends for over 19 years (wowza that’s a lot to take in). They have backed me, supported me, been incredibly loyal, listened to me, hugged me, shotted tequila with me, travelled with me, cried with me, celebrated with me, danced with me and most of all been honest with me.

I am who I am because of the woman I am, and the women that surround me.

These women inspire me everyday to be a better person. They provide me with hope and inspiration, they pull me into line when I need to check-in with myself, they are there with unconditional love. Not to judge but to understand, not to pity but to hug, not to be jealous but to be happy for me. I know I am one of the lucky ones, but really it's not luck, it is because we have stood the test of time and been there for one another. Had hard conversations and forgiven each other, knowing that our worlds are so much of a better place when we choose to support one another.

Today I challenge myself and those that read this, to do more. To change the narrative and to challenge. Challenge in a respectful and open way. Challenge to self-reflect and acknowledge that none of us are perfect. I know for a fact I got caught out last week. I found myself talking about someone in a negative way because the people around me were doing it, I thought that was how I could fit in.

The change comes from you, from me, from us.

From not being afraid of the hard work and being honest enough to check-in with yourself. Do you shut a conversation down when it shouldn’t be had? Do you open a conversation when it needs to be had? Do you empower the people around you? Not every day is a perfect day but every day can be a day that we learn from and continue to grow. We all want to grow into the inspiring women we were meant to be.

So today and every day I raise my glass for these reasons and many more:

• Here’s to shutting down negative talk about others

• Here’s to calling out inappropriate behaviour

• Here’s to being unafraid to gently ask more questions when we don’t fully understand or agree

• Here’s to building others up and celebrating their wins as you would celebrate your own

• Here’s to smiling at their strengths, talents, passions and skills and using it as inspiration to keep chasing your own

• Here’s to women that pursue passion, that fight to be better tomorrow than they are today

• Here's to the women that raise children and role model the behaviour we wish for the generations to come

• Here’s to a world of thriving females (and males) that back each other and #choosetochallenge in their everyday world

Be grateful for what you have today, ‘cause chances are, if you are reading this … you hold more privilege than others and choosing to do nothing is the biggest sin of all.

With LOVE from Bel x