Life at 34 x
- with LOVE from Bel x
- May 20, 2020
- 6 min read
I don’t often get funny around birthdays. Maybe there has been twice that I can remember. At 18 I knew I wasn’t like most 18 year olds; my celebration was a dinner at the Indian restaurant I was working at. It was only family (that sat around the table) and my boyfriend at the time didn’t even show up. Around 28 I know I was a little unsettled but by the time 30 came around I had accepted. I was so spoilt and surrounded by some amazing people for my thirtieth, that memory will always make me smile. A bonfire, a surprise animal petting zoo, live music by a dam, a horse ride, games on the grass and 30 odd friends on a property I rented for the weekend.
In a months’ time, I turn 35. WOAH! When you are 18, twenty-two seems old. At 25, thirty seems ancient and now at 34, I think sixty is OLD, haha (sorry Didi).
Living life as a thirty-four-year-old, there are many things I have started to reflect on. Things that I believe and things I have learnt along the way.
So here goes, with no rhyme or reason, just an out pouring of thoughts.
Saying sorry is hard. I still practise this, I am not sure why I find it challenging. I am open to admitting when I have made a mistake and taking responsibility (no-one is perfect). But, I still find it hard to say those two words ‘I’m sorry’.
You will find your tribe. They are a unique and eclectic collection of friends that possibly don’t know each other. They provide you with a wide range of perspectives. But most importantly they love you for who you are and they make you smile. This takes times, don’t rush it.
I believe in sustainability. I think about mother earth a lot. I don’t run to buy the latest trend and I get out my needle and thread often. I have been openly teased by the clothes I wear sometimes.
It takes courage sticking to what you value. Humans are such influential beings. Take time to know what you stand for so you can stand up for it (not stand by).
Forgiveness is a powerful tool. Did you know sometimes you might even have to forgive yourself?
Find a career that you love and you will never work a day in your life! IS A LIE! Find something that you are ridiculously passionate about and it will drive you and motivate you to work harder than you ever have before.
Love is infinite. Breaking up with your first or second boyfriend is really hard. It’s normal to think that you will never find someone again. Hey, I’m still looking and have moments when I do wonder. But love grows. You might not believe you can love like you love now, but I know that you can. I have done it.
You are not alone. I remember being a young adult and thinking that I was the only one that had problems at home. That no one else would understand and I couldn’t share. But really it’s just that not a lot of people speak up. Find someone that you trust to talk to.
Consistency is key. I don’t think I ever really stretched outside of the dance studio. I would wonder how people around me got more flexible and stronger. It was because they were doing something every day/night to work towards what they wanted and I wasn’t.
You can’t be serious all the time. Living life to its’ fullest is about HAVING FUN! Yes, that means you may make a mistake and people laugh at you but it is so worth it.
If it won’t matter in 3 years’ time don’t think about it for longer than 3 minutes. Easier said than done. I should probably remind myself of this more often.
There is no one-way to ‘do life’. You must find your path, respect your journey and attempt not to compare yours or judge others.
Learning about money is a must. It is tedious and sends you crazy. However, you have to start using a budget, have a savings plan and stick to it (as often as you can).
Buying and owning a house isn’t an easy process. At this stage in my life I believe, It’s worth it though. You certainly don’t think that every damn day but I don’t regret having to be tight with finances in my twenty’s (or even now). Financial security does give some freedoms.
Spend time with people that challenge you. They teach you more than anyone else ever could.
Honesty is important. Even when it’s hard. I despise lying. Be truthful, own up (when you can). If it is HUGE then do consider the ramifications of the other person/people involved.
Think things through. Particularly the impact on self and others.
Take risks. Haha life is a whirlwind. Only you can work out when you need to think through or just run with it. You’ll get better at it.
Listen to your intuition. It comes when you allow it. When you slow. When you ponder. When you listen to you.
I believe in being the bigger person. Being the one that tries to start the conversation you know you need to have. Or the one that walks away and doesn’t add more fuel to the fire. Or in my case if you start, be sure to finish. Don’t back away from what you believe. You can circle back but I believe you must follow through.
I believe in kindness and respect. I make a bold assumption that if you are reading this you will agree.
Not enough time is not an excuse. Did you know there are 168 hours in a week? Take out time to sleep, time to shower, time to work/school and you still have 65 hours left. If you ‘don’t have time ’it’s just not a priority’ and that is ok.
Traveling to unique destinations is invaluable. The perspective you gain, the things you learn about yourself and the world. WOAH.
You are braver, stronger and more powerful than you think. We can fear our light and what we are capable of. It’s scary being someone that lives boldly and bravely.
Leadership can be lonely. It’s a selfless act. It teaches you, it humbles you, it develops you, it grounds you. It’s worth it.
When you are doing something for a cause that is greater than yourself, nothing is impossible. #keepthedooropen (no further words needed).
Laughter is so good for the soul. Find people in your life that make you laugh!
I admire talent. In all its’ forms. Humans are remarkable creatures and what they create can move you.
You don’t have to know everything. I once thought I could never be a parent because, what if my child asked me what is lightening or where does rain come from? Simple for you to answer perhaps, but I shut down and don’t know the real answers. I have accepted that in my tribe is a wealth of knowledge and I don’t have to know it all. We would just call Mr Yeats if I got asked that question.
I would rather die than stop learning or growing. Big statement! But it’s true. Imagine what you would miss out on?! I’m here in this life for the warts and all.
Sometimes you will want to throw away responsibility. Becoming an adult, I remember days when I hated the fact that I had bills to pay, that I had to work instead of hanging out with friends or that maybe I made the wrong decision to buy a house so young. You’ll get through it. It’s worth it in the end, I promise.
You can still be 34 and be a big kid! Do I jump in puddles? Absolutely! Make forts in my lounge room? Definitely! Fun, fun and fun!
What’s the worst that can happen? Can I deal with it? I ask myself this question nearly every week or month. Usually when making a big decision or thinking something through. It helps me address fear and push through. Check out my blog on fear if you want to know more.
Being Bel is beautiful. Certainly, not every day and not to everyone. (Like when I am in pain, I learnt last week, I don’t like the person I am). But that’s ok! I am going to own it! It's not easy to type that, I deleted it and then brought it back. Because if I don't believe in me who else can I expect to?
Well 34, I wasn’t sure if we would get this far. But we did. There is still so much more to learn about our big beautiful world and I am excited for the adventure. If you made it this far with me, thank you! It was kind of a personal little journey this. I enjoyed reflecting and it was what I needed to accept the fate of my birthday next month.
With LOVE from Bel x